Awkward Christmas Moments


Hey, did you know? Sex sells!

This Elf is on the Naughty List
This Elf is on the Naughty List

My post, XXX-Mas, about an awkward family Christmas gift exchange is getting A LOT of hits. It’s even going a little viral. And when I say, “little” I mean “LITTLE!!!”

I don’t think readers were looking for “the funny,” however. I think they were looking for something else. I hope they weren’t too disappointed.

I just wanted to give people the gift of laughing at my expense. I’m generous like that. I also love to give the gifts of letting people feel superior and smug.

And with that, I have finally been blessed with the holiday spirit. Won’t you please join me in this generous, gift-giving season?

Share your stories. Leave a comment about an awkward holiday moment… an awkward gift? A party gaffe? A hostess fail?

And maybe, if the holiday spirit moves me, I will share the classic tales of The Stinkiest Christmas Nut Ever and That One Christmas When the Charity People Thought I Was a Boy.

So, what’s keeping you? Dredge up those memories. The gift of laughter lasts a lifetime.

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16 thoughts on “Awkward Christmas Moments

    1. Thank you. I’m quite proud of it.

      My Sweet Girl happened to name that Elf “Magic John.”

      I’ve been considering posing him with a number of his “hohohos,” but I’m not sure I can be that offensive.

      I’m prissy (and socially conscious) like that.

      1. Okay, going with the bodily functions theme: On Boxing Day 2002, my 7-month old son had the most explosive blowout diaper of his little life. This was at a rather formal dinner we had been invited to, and I slipped into a side room to change him. This was no ordinary clean up; the blowout had reached a high water mark. There was poop all the way up my son’s back and over the top of his shoulder. The clothes were unsalvageble — I stuffed them into a plastic bag for later toss-out. I put jammies on my sweet-faced though still somewhat offensive-smelling baby boy, waved goodbye to the hostess, and dashed home.
        On Christmas Eve 2003, my newborn threw up in my face (yes, literally – vomit went into my eyes) while I was wrapping presents for the grandparents. It truly is the hap-happiest season of all, isn’t it?

        1. Oh geez! Thanks for sharing these glorious moments.

          This reminds me… I came down with food poisoning when my daughter was a month old. And where did I get it? The family Christmas party.

          I was the one doing the projectile vomiting then…

          Thanks so much for stopping by, reading, and sharing your pooperific holiday memories.

  1. I pooped at my ex-fiance’s house and clogged the toilet. I tried to plunge it but I was not successful so the toilet overflowed… poop water all over the ground. He has a very small family and they were all sitting in the living room hearing me plunge and cursing as silently as I could. They ended up having to call an emergency plumber. Awesome holiday memories.

    1. That’s a rough one and I won’t try to top it. I do have a story though: my stepkids somehow spilled a large can of olive oil all over my cousin’s kitchen floor during a New Year’s Eve get together. What they were doing in the kitchen was beyond me.

        1. Yeep! Three boys. Now ages 29, 24 and 22. I also have two boys of my own, 16 and 14. My life is boys and noise. Oh, and I work in Spec ed too. More boys, lol.

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